Handling stress by really trying

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By Evangeline T. Capuno

“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.” – Andrew Bernstein

While leading a talk on stress management, and explaining her topic to an audience, a young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, “Half empty or half full?”

Surprisingly, she didn’t ask that question. Instead, she told them: “How heavy is this glass of water?”  Answers called out ranged from 8 ounces to 20 ounces.

“The absolute weight doesn’t matter,” she explained. “It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.  If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.  In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She ended her explanation with these words: “And that’s also the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.”

Stress has emerged as one of the most serious health issues of the 21st century as it makes people around the world vulnerable to many diseases, according to a report released by the UN International Labor Organization (ILO). “The kind of tense and stressful working environment seems to have become accepted as natural, and will have to be addressed urgently if the changes through which the world is moving are not to become overwhelming,” said the United Nations labor agency.

Stress versus Distress

Dr. Hans Seyle, the world’s premier stress researcher, said the term “stress” came from the Old French and Middle English word “distress.”  He said that the first syllable eventually was lost through slurring, as when modern kids turned “because” into “cause.”

“In the light of our investigations,” Dr. Seyle writes in his book, Stress Without Distress, “the true meaning of the two words became totally different despite their common ancestry, just as in correct usage we distinguish because (since) and cause (reason). Activity associated with stress may be pleasant or unpleasant; distress is always disagreeable.”

Dr. Seyle argued that stress is the body’s non-specific response to any demand made upon it.  “Sitting in a dentist’s chair is stressful.  But so is exchanging a passionate kiss with a lover – after all, your pulse speeds up, your breathing quickens, your heartbeat soars,” he explains. 

“Yet who in the world would forgo such a pleasurable pastime (kissing) simply because of stress?” he continues. “Our aim shouldn’t be to avoid stress completely, which would be impossible, but to recognize our typical response to stress, and then to modulate our lives in accordance with it.”

Both good and bad

Stress can be a good thing when it helps us perform better, but it can also be a bad thing that brings you disappointment and illness, and possibly even shorten your life, said Dr. Eduardo C. Janairo when he was the regional director of the Department of Health (DOH) of Calabarzon. “Reducing stress gradually is essential in safeguarding our health, it can improve one’s mood, promote longevity and allow us to become more productive,” said Dr. Janairo.

The common effects of stress, which is similar to tension, “an individual’s internal reaction to pressure or demand,” include: physical (fatigue, headache, frequent colds), mental (a decrease in concentration and memory, confusion, and loss of sense of humor), emotional (depression, anger, frustration, worry, fear, irritability, impatience, short temperedness), and behavioral (increase in eating habits, smoking, drinking, crying, yelling, swearing, and blaming others).

Among those living in the cities, the common causes of stress are, according to Dr. Janairo, the daily hassles of commuting, beating the bundy clock, noise, pollution, heat, confined places, red tape, work deadlines, and the rudeness or bossiness of others.  He added that lifestyle choices can also cause stress, such as drinking too much coffee, not getting enough sleep, and dealing with overloaded work schedules.

Dealing with stress

How do Filipinos deal with stress?

“Contrary to stereotypes about women being more expressive, Filipinas are actually more prone to dealing with stressful situations through tiis (endurance) and kimkim (repression),” explains Dr. Michael L. Tan, a medical anthropologist. “Check out the local scenes of merriment: it’s usually men having a good time, bringing out the beer and toasting their problems away, while their women look for ways to make ends meet.”

What about Filipino men? “Men are expected to keep their feelings in check, but more out of masculine values of strength and stoicism,” Dr. Tan wrote.  “Men are generally not allowed to cry, much less to go into hysterics; and this probably helps to explain why more men suffer from cardiovascular disease.”

Meanwhile, a man’s ability to produce sperm may depend on his ability to handle stress, according to a study from Italy that looked at the impact of short- and longer-term stress. The researchers, who published their findings in the journal Fertility & Sterility, found that men with higher levels of both short- and long-term stress and anxiety ejaculated less semen and had lower sperm concentration and counts. Men with the highest anxiety levels were also more likely to have sperm that were deformed or less mobile.

“Taken together, our observations strongly suggest that (stress and anxiety) may represent a significant factor involved in male fertility,” wrote the researchers led by Elisa Vellani of the European Hospital in Rome.

Sex and stress

Stress also inhibits a healthy and happy sex life. The connection between distress and problems such as frigidity and impotence are known to every psychiatrist. More often than not, sex-related distress commences with a seeming failure, or fear of failure, which leads to worry the next time. It should be emphasized that relaxation, so important for enjoyable sex, is incompatible with worry.  Result: repeated failure.  Thus, the situation repeats itself, becoming even more serious.  

According to psychiatrists, it is very difficult to convince a distressed person that no physical problem is interfering with his or her sexual fulfillment. Lack of knowledge about sex, about the human body, and about proper methods to handle distress are some of those that contribute to the problem, thus rendering sex as not only enjoyable, but also frightening. In women under stress, the monthly cycle becomes irregular or stops completely. In men, the sexual urge and the sperm cell formation are diminished.

Accident-prone

Stress can also trigger accidents, according to ILO. As one investigator puts it: “Of all the factors related to the causation of accidents, (what) only emerged as a common denominator (was) a high level of stress at the time the accident occurred.  A person under stress is an accident waiting to happen.”

Medical practitioners reveal that many people develop stress because they have “tuned out” and ignored earlier signals, which indicated trouble ahead.  “We can’t deal with stress unless we recognize and admit its presence. We must listen to our body. We must listen to our feelings, too. They will also tell us when we need some relief,” Dr. Seyle suggests.

Burnout

Meanwhile, work-related stress is the top reason driving employees away from a company, according to the latest study by global consulting firm Watson Wyatt Worldwide.

In its “Global Strategic Rewards Survey,” Watson Wyatt cited that the main reason that employees leave their firm is stress. However, company management has placed low importance in reducing the stress levels of their employees.

Rachelle Arcebal, Watson Wyatt strategic rewards practice leader, noted that managers usually “underestimate employee stress levels as drivers of turnover.” She added that although base pay is still the top drawer and retention-driver among companies in the region, this is usually overshadowed by work stress on employees.

Dr. Paul Rosch, president of the American Institute of Stress at New York Medical College, suggests that people need to work on their attitude toward stress. “I think the single most important point you can make about stress is that in most cases it’s not what’s out there that’s the problem, it’s how you react to it,” he says.  – ###

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