By Henrylito D. Tacio
It is considered an ancient tradition. Most people believed that couples who tie the knot in June are expected to be blessed, enjoy good fortune, and happy relationship. Because of this thinking, Juno’s month – June – became sacred for exchanging traditional wedding vows for newlyweds.
Okay, marriage is a sacred institution. It was initiated by God Himself in the Garden of Eden. “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
The first marriage came into my mind when I heard a little girl who was asked during a Sunday school if she knew the story of Adam and Eve. “Of course, I do,” she replied. “First God made Adam and then looked at him and said, ‘I think I can do better,’ so He created a woman.”
Yes, children have funny views. But adults, too, can’t help poking fun on marriage, despite its sanctity. “Marriage is a great institution,” said Hollywood bombshell Mae West, “but I’m not ready for an institution yet.” To the great Italian Leonardo Da Vinci, marriage “is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.”
Views about marriage abound. “Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose,” says British writer Beverley Nichols. In other words, “All marriages are happy,” to quote the words of Canadian playwright Raymond Hull. But he added, “It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.”
English writer G.K. Chesterton has a similar view: “Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” After all, “marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” That’s what Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw once said.
When it comes to marriage, men and women have different ideas. American author and playwright Jean Kerr writes, “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.”
As a reply to that statement, an unknown author penned, “Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.”
Women have more to say about husbands. Hollywood star Zsa Zsa Gabor, who had been married several times, commented, “Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.”
Sexpot Marilyn Monroe, who also married on several occasions, had the same view: “Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.”
Love and marriage are two different things. “Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock,” someone quipped. “If love means never having to say you’re sorry,” American actress Estelle Getty pointed out, “then marriage means always having to say everything twice.”
If in the past you want to make love with your partner, please be aware: marriage changes passion. After the wedding, you’re suddenly in bed with a relative. On second thought, marriage – according to American comedian Alan King – is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Of course, fights are not uncommon among married couples. “In the early years, you fight because you don’t understand each other,” commented American journalist Joan Didion. “In the later years, you fight because you do.” This statement may have impelled American comedienne Phyllis Diller to suggest: “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
To avoid all those unnecessary troubles, American president Lyndon B. Johnson suggests, “I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.” Comedian Joey Adams was right: “Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.”
How will you know that your marriage is in trouble? According to award-winning American comedian Milton Berle, you will know it “if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.”
Of course, there are successful marriages. When British-born American comedian Henry Youngman was asked about the secret of their long marriage, he replied, “We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
“The happiest marriage I can imagine to myself,” contends English poet S.T. Coleridge, “would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.” To either husband or wife, American statesman Benjamin Franklin suggests, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.”
American poet Ogden Nash suggests, “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup: Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” Take it from American comedian Rodney Dangerfield: “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after, so goes a Polish proverb. This story proves: A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back towards his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die?”
The man approached the grieving fellow and asked, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? Is it your child or your mother or father?”
The mourner took a closer look at the person asking and then said, “My wife’s first husband.”
It’s good to be married though. Socrates declared, “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Now, you know why he became a classical Greek philosopher.
