LIFE’S LESSONS
By Henrylito D. Tacio
In the beginning, God created man and his name was Adam. But the Creator observed that he was alone and lonely. So, He allowed the first man to fall asleep and took one of his ribs and formed into a woman (“because she was taken out of man”).
When Adam saw Eve for the first time, he was struck by her beauty. The Bible was silent about what happened next but we’re sure Adam courted Eve relentlessly. At the end of the day, he won her heart and so God initiated the first wedding ever recorded. “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Marriage was instituted by God. Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally and often legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any).
The word “marriage” appeared around 1300 and likely descended from the Old French “mariage” of the 12th Century and the Vulgar Latin “maritaticum” of the 11th Century, ultimately tracing to the Latin “maritatus,” past participle of “maritare.”
The 1987 Philippine Constitution does not explicitly address the issue of marriage equality. However, the Family Code of the Philippines, enacted in 1987, specifies in Article 1 that “marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman.”
Why do some marriages fail while others succeed? Here’s an interesting story – funny, actually, but there’s truth to it – on why a marriage can be successful:
James and Roger were college friends. After graduation, they never met each other again. James got married and immigrated to Denmark. Roger, on the other hand, settled in Canada where he met his wife.
Unfortunately, the marriage of James ended in separation. Roger and his wife have four children and they are still together after 10 years. It so happened that the two friends met again during a college reunion.
James asked Roger, “ What is the secret behind your happy married life?”
“You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other,” Roger replied. “Then absolutely there will be no problems.”
“Can you explain?” James asked.
“In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues whereas my wife decides on smaller issues,” Roger explained. “We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”
Still not convinced, James asked him, “Give me some examples.”
Roger said, “Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much to save, when to visit the supermarket, when and where to go on vacation, which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy. Monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc. Are all decided by my wife. I just agree to it.”
“Then, what is your role?” James inquired.
“My decisions are only for very big issues,” Roger answered. “Like whether the Philippines should fight against China, whether Donald Trump should be the president of the United States again, whether Travis Kelce should marry Swift Taylor, etc. etc. and do you know, my wife; never objects to any of these decisions.”
Actually, if you ask ten couples about the secret of their successful marriage, you’ll get ten different answers. As freelance journalist Cristina Montemayor explains, “There’s the traditional advice, such as ‘never go to bed angry,’ or there’s the classic reminder to always remember that marriage requires compromise.
“While the practical takeaways will always vary, there’s one universal trait found in all strong, healthy partnerships: Happy marriages tend to be marked with the kind of deep passion and radical acceptance that cultivates a blissful bond between two people,” Montemayor concluded.
Marriage should be forever. Find the right partner for you. Women should not marry a guy because he is handsome, or rich, or because your parents tell you to marry him. The same is true with men. He should search for the right woman for him.
Marry the person who you will love even when you wake up in the morning and find him or her not good looking enough. “Happy marriages,” said Tom Mullen, “begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.”
Once you’re married to the person whom you thought is the right one for you, accept him or her, including the bad traits and habits. Josh McDowell reminds, “What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down – that person has committed himself (herself) to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him (her) off.”
Marriage is not always a bed of roses. Two people from different backgrounds usually clash but that’s alright. Opposites attract each other, right? “Men marry women with the hope they will never change,” commented Albert Einstein. “Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
Ogden Nash tells: “Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.” However, he offers some advice: “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up.”
Yes, there are marriages made in heaven — because from the beginning, God is in the midst of the union. Marriage, someone once said, is always a triangle: man, woman, and God.
With that, marriage is bound to be forever. And husband and wife will live happily ever after. The Kenny Rogers song said it well: “I can’t remember what I used to do. Who I trusted whom I listened to before. I swear you’ve taught me everything I know. Can’t imagine needing someone so but through the years it seems to me I need you more and more.”
Do you want to stay married to your partner forever? Learn wisdom from the words of Bon Jovi’s spouse: “My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.” – ###
