LIFE’S LESSONS
By Henrylito D. Tacio
“Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.” – Ralph Marston
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Every year, the World Happiness Report is issued during the celebration of the United Nations International Day of Happiness. The report draws on global survey data from people in more than 140 countries.
Countries are ranked on happiness based on their average life evaluations over the three preceding years, in this case 2021 to 2023. The report is a partnership of Gallup, the Oxford Wellbeing Research Centre, the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network, and an editorial board.
In the latest edition, the Philippines made a significant improvement as it jumped 23 spots. Our country now ranks 53rd out of 143 countries in terms of happiness. This optimistic shift mirrors the life enjoyment of Filipinos, especially the younger generation.
In Southeast Asia, we placed second – after Singapore. Below us are three other members of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations: Vietnam, Thailand, and Malaysia. On top of the list, from first to fifth, are Finland, Denmark, Iceland, Sweden, and Israel, respectively.
Happiness per moment
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony,” said Mahatma Gandhi. “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved,” George Sand said. Omar Khayyam also said, “Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”
Happiness is how you look at it. As an entrepreneur, best-selling author and peak performance trainer, Singaporean Adam Khoo has traveled to various parts of Asia. On a plane going to Kuala Lumpur, someone came to him and with a shocked look inquired, “How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?”
Without much ado, he replied, “That’s why I am a millionaire.”
His answer baffled the man – along with others who have read his “Secrets of Self-Made Millionaire.” These people may be wondering: “What’s the point in making so much money if you don’t enjoy it?”
In his blog, Khoo posted this timely thought: “The thing is that I don’t really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewelry, or sitting in first class. Even if buying something makes me happy, it is only for a while, it does not last. Material happiness never lasts, it just gives you a quick fix.”
When it comes to material things, happiness is elusive. In fact, a study done in the United States showed that happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. The result, which appeared in Psychological Science, found that people can grow accustomed to their possessions and thereby derive less happiness from them.
The researchers claim that people can continue to want the things they have and that those who do so can achieve greater happiness. “Simply having a bunch of things is not the key to happiness,” said Texas Tech University psychologist Jeff Larsen, who headed the study. “Our data show that you also need to appreciate those things you have. It’s also important to keep your desire for things you don’t own in check.”
The happy Filipino
So, what makes a Filipino happy? Clarence C. Martinez works in a ship building company about 60 kilometers away from his home in Cebu City. “I go home only on weekends or on Wednesday evening,” says the Filipino executive. “So, after a long work at the office, I drive almost two hours and honk the horn of my car to announce my arrival and also as a signal to open the driveway. You can just imagine my happiness when I see my son coming out and hugging me.”
When asked what makes her happy the most, Dr. Emmanuela L. Gutierrez said that being 70 years old, healthy and with her senses still intact. “I can still read and comprehend, see the beauty of nature, hear well, smell the aroma of foods and flowers and plants, and can talk and feel,” explained the Filipino physician who now lives in the United States.
“The happiest people are rarely the richest, or the most beautiful, or even the most talented,” Jane Canfield once said. “Happy people do not depend on excitement and ‘fun’ supplied by externals. They enjoy the fundamental, often very simple, things of life. They waste no time thinking other pastures are greener; they do not yearn for yesterday or tomorrow. They savor the moment, glad to be alive, enjoying their work, their families, the good things around them. They are adaptable; they can bend with the wind, adjust to the changes in their times, enjoy the contests of life, and feel themselves in harmony with the world.”
Money, power can’t buy happiness
Happiness cannot be found in wealth. Jay Gould, the American millionaire, had plenty of that. When dying, he said: “I suppose I am the most miserable man on earth.” Lord Beaconsfield enjoyed more than his share of position and fame. But neither makes him happy. “Youth is a mistake; manhood, a struggle; old age, a regret,” he wrote.
You won’t even find real happiness in military glory. Alexander the Great conquered the known world in his day. Having done so, he wept, because, he said, “There are no more worlds to conquer.”
Recently, three elderly Filipinos – who were former classmates when they were still young – got together. They were relaxing in the shade of a mango tree and philosophizing. One was a well-known politician, another was a university professor, and the third was a simple farmer.
All three were dreaming about what they would love to have the following day. The politician said all he would like were two things: a new car that would bring him to a white-sand beach. The professor said he wanted a cup of hot coffee and spendthe day reading a nice book at the library.
The farmer said he did not want anything special for tomorrow, but just the regular things that happened every day, like the sunrise, crops growing well, and birds nesting and singing in his fruit trees.
That night, a strong earthquake rocked the province. It smashed the politician’s new car. As for the professor, his dream was also shattered: all the cups were broken and the library full of books burnt down.
But the farmer’s wishes were not in the least affected by the tremor. The sun rose as usual, the crops were growing well, and the birds nested and sang in the branches of his fruit trees.
Happiness is not a destination
“Happy is the man who does not dream great things for the future but takes each day as a present from the hand of God,” so goes a Chinese saying. “All presents are good.”
Happiness, at best, is an illusory goal. “Happiness is not a destination; it is a manner of traveling,” Haim Ginott said. “It is not an end in itself. It is a by-product of working, playing, loving, and living.”
So, what makes you happy? Singaporean millionaire Khoo again shared this thought: “Happiness must come from doing your life’s work (be in teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by- product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a meaningless life.” – ###
