By Henrylito D. Tacio
If there’s one person who can handle his worries well, it’s no other than J. Arthur Rank, an English film producer.
In one of his books, inspirational author Norman Vincent Peale said the Rank did all his worrying on a single day – particularly on Wednesday. “He has what he calls his Wednesday Worry Club,” Peale wrote.
“When a worry occurs to him on any other day, he writes it down and puts it in a box. And, of course, when he opens the box on Wednesday, he finds that most of the things he was disturbed about, have already been settled.”
“The rest,” Rank was quoted as saying, “I put it back in the box to take up the following Wednesday.”
Peale comments: “It is in this way that Rank is curing himself of the worry habit.”
“Worry,” William A. Ward once said, “is faith in the negative, trust in the unpleasant, assurance of disaster, and belief in defeat… Worry is wasting today’s time to clutter up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.”
American military general George S. Patton agrees. “Worrying does not help anything and hurts everything,” said the guy whose ruthlessness and tactical brilliance as a tank commander earned him the nickname ‘Old Blood and Guts.’
“Worry grows lushly in the soil of indecision,” ventured Norman Shidle. To Roger Babson, worry “is to life and progress what sand is to the bearings of perfect engines.” William Inge said it right when he dismissed: “Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.”
“Worry is one of the most common forms of emotional distress in our culture,” observes Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, a counsellor, therapist, and associate professor in the graduate school at St. John’s University in New York. “Almost everyone spends an inordinate amount of present moments worrying about the future. And virtually all of it is for naught. Obsessive worry will never make things any better. In fact, such worry will very likely help you to be less effective in dealing with the present.”
Medical studies have shown that worry causes ulcers, hypertension, cramps, tension headaches and backaches. “While these may not seem to be payoffs,” explains Dr. Dryer, “they do result in considerable attention from others and justify much self-pity as well.” And some people would rather be pitied than fulfilled.
In his book, Your Erroneous Zones, Dr. Dryer outlines five simple tips on how you can reduce the number of troubles. Here’s how:
Begin to view your present moments as times to live. Do this instead of worrying about the future, which is still to happen or may not happen at all. When you catch yourself worrying, you may ask this question to yourself: “What am I avoiding now by using up this moment with worry?” Then, you can start to attack whatever it is you’re avoiding.
The best antidote to worry is action. Dr. Dryer shares this illustration: “A friend of mine spent a week on an island off the Connecticut coast. She enjoyed taking long walks, but soon discovered that there were a number of dogs on the island who were allowed to run free. She decided to fight her worry that they might attack her. She carried a rock in her hand and resolved to show no fear as the dogs came running toward her.”
Here’s the explanation of Dr. Dryer about the above example: “Encountering someone who refused to back down, they turned and ran away. While I am not advocating dangerous behavior, I do believe that a sensibly effective challenge to worry is the most productive way to minimize its role in your life.”
Recognize the preposterousness of each particular worry. Try to ask this question to yourself over and over again: “Will the future change as a result of my worrying about it?” Now, try to remember how many of the things you once worried about yourself ever materialized at all. Also ask yourself: “What’s the worst thing that could happen to me (or them), and what is the likelihood of it occurring?” You will discover the absurdity of most worries this way, according to Dr. Dryer.
Give yourself shorter and shorter periods of “worry time.” But the question is how? According to Dr. Dryer, designate ten minutes in the morning and afternoon as your worry segments. “Use these periods to fret about every potential disaster you can get into the time slot,” he points out. Then, try to postpone any further worry until your next designated worry time.
“You may soon come to see the folly of too much time spent worrying, and may eventually be able to reduce your worry zone to a minimum,” assures Dr. Dryer. It seems this is what Rank has been doing.
Act in direct conflict with your usual areas of worry. If you compulsively save for the future, use some money for your own enjoyment today. Be like the rich man who put in his will, “Being of sound mind, I spent all my money while I was alive.” Dr. Dryer urges: “Enjoy life: don’t waste the present with immobilizing thoughts about the future.”
It’s high time to give up worrying. To end this piece, let me share this story. A pilgrim met the Plague going to Metro Manila. “What are you going to do there?” asked the pilgrim. “I’m going to kill 5,000 people,” boasted the Plague, with a hideous leer.
The pilgrim shuddered and changed his plans. However, sometime later, he encountered a man from Metro Manila and learned that not 5,000 but 50,000 people had died. Soon after, he met the Plague again, traveling to another place. “You lied,” accused the pilgrim. “You said you were going to kill only 5,000 people.”
The Plague explained as pleasantly as he could, “I did kill only 5,000, and the rest of the 50,000 died from fright.”
