By Henrylito D. Tacio
Once upon a time, there were three priests who came together in a park. While talking with each other, they started to reveal their innermost secrets. “I have used the church’s money in building my mother’s house,” bared the first. “Please don’t tell anyone about this.”
“My problem is,” the second revealed, “I have impregnated a beautiful lady. She will deliver our baby soon.” Like the first priest, he urged that it, too, should be kept a secret.
“What about you?” the two asked the third priest.
“Mine is not really that immense,” he said. “I just can’t control my tongue. You see, when I hear some secrets, I can’t help myself but share them with others.”
“Gossip is never fatal until it is denied,” wrote Booth Tarkington, author of The Magnificent Ambersons. “Gossip goes on about every human being alive and about all the dead that are alive enough to be remembered, and yet almost never does any harm until some defender makes a controversy. Gossip’s a nasty thing, but it’s sickly, and if people of good intentions will leave it entirely alone, it will die, ninety-nine times out of a hundred.”
Gossip is not a new invention. It has been around since time immemorial. “Evolutionary psychologists believe that our preoccupation with the lives of others is a byproduct of a prehistoric brain,” wrote Frank T. McAndrew is a feature syndicated by the Associated Press.
These scientists believe that since “our prehistoric ancestors lived in relatively small groups” that “they knew one another intimately.”
McAndrew further wrote: “In order to ward off enemies and survive in their harsh natural environment, our ancestors needed to cooperate with in-group members. But they also recognized that these same in-group members were their main competitors for mates and limited resources.”
In modern times, however, “gossip” has taken a new level. It simply means “spreading of rumor and misinformation, often through excited conversation over scandals.”
Mostly, people don’t admit they are involved in gossip. Someone may say, “I don’t mean to talk about her, but…” and what comes next is a litany of untruth facts. The more interesting the gossip, the more likely it is to be untrue.
Sometimes, gossip takes the form of a false sympathy. “I really took pity on my neighbor who is being beaten by her husband once he goes home drunk.” Others commence the conversation with a question: “Is it true that the 17-year-old daughter of our school principal is pregnant?”
A lie has no leg, but a scandal has wings, so goes a saying.
Recently, I attended Sunday worship in Davao. The church pastor, in his message, told us: “Beware of this sinful organ which I shall not mention by name. It gives man so much pleasure but causes much regret and shame. Although it is a small roll of flesh, from it all mischief has sprung.”
We were all wide awake when the pastor further said, “Now, I will show this monster.” He opened his mouth and put out his tongue.
When it comes to gossip, the Holy Bible uses tongue to symbolize it. James 3:5-6: “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and it itself is set on fire by hell.”
All this happens when a person uses his tongue to say something bad or embarrassing about another person. Apostle James warned that so far, no man has ever tamed the tongue. “It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison,” he said.
“Gossip,” novelist George Elliot once wrote, “is a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it; it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.” Joseph Conrad states: “Gossip is what no one claims to like, but everybody enjoys.”
Bestselling author Erica Jong considers gossip as “the opiate of the oppressed.” Sholom Aleichem describes gossip as “nature’s telephone.” Walter Winchell has this idea: “Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.”
You may not know it, but sometimes you may be the talk of the town. But just be reminded of the words of Antoine de Rivarol: “Of every ten persons who talk about you, nine will say something bad, and the tenth will say something good in a bad way.”
Oscar Wilde puts it this way: “There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
Some people complain that when they do good things, no one talks about it. But when they commit an error, no one forgets. These people probably have not heard the words of Bertrand Arthur William Russell: “No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.”
Gossips come in different forms. But they have the same agenda: “They come together like the Coroner’s Inquest, to sit upon the murdered reputations of the week,” said William Congreve.
“A gossip,” the Holy Bible says, “separates close friends.” How true, how true. Gossip can destroy reputations, disrupt families, divide neighbors, and cause widespread heartbreak. How many happily married couples have been separated because of gossip?
Your answer is as good as mine!
