LIFE’S LESSONS
By Henrylito D. Tacio
“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter – they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.” ― From The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
I am not sure if you heard this joke before but allow me to share it again. Mark visited his close friend John at his home and was totally amazed at how well John treated his wife. He told her several times about how attractive she was, complimented her on her culinary skills, and showered her with hugs and kisses.
Mark told his observation and inquired. This was John’s secret: “I started to appreciate her more about a year ago. It has revived our marriage, and we couldn’t be happier.”
Inspired by John’s story, Mark hurried home, hugged his wife, told her how much he loved her, and said he wanted to hear all about her day. He was totally taken by surprise when his wife, Sarah, burst into tears. “Sarah,” he asked, “whatever’s the matter?”
Sarah replied, “This has been the worst day I’ve had for a long time. This morning our eldest son fell off his bike and hurt his ankle, then while I was watching my favorite show, the television quit working. Now, to top it off, you come home drunk!”
Of course, the anecdote was a joke, but it came into my mind as I read the article written by Jane Lindstrom, “How Will You Know Unless I Tell You?” It first appeared in These Times but was condensed by Reader’s Digest. The title was taken from a letter sent to the author from a casual acquaintance.
But that’s going ahead of the story. Jane was a teacher and one time, she had a surgery. In the beginning, friends sent her flowers, fruits, etc. But as days passed, those things stopped coming. In fact, it came to pass that her friends stopped visiting her. “I felt lonely, unimportant, forgotten by a world that apparently was doing very well without me,” she wrote in her article.
Then, all of a sudden, there was a letter coming from someone whom she passed each morning on her way to school. “Dear Jane,” said the letter. “My class is about to begin, but I must write these few words before my students arrive. I missed your smile and your wave this morning, just as I have every day since you’ve been ill.
“I pray you’ll be well soon,” the letter continued. “You’re probably surprised at receiving this note, but the world for me is a less happy place without you. And how will you know unless I tell you?”
Notes like that will never be thrown away. Ask film actor Denzel Washington. At age 20, he was sitting in his mother’s hairdressing salon, when he saw one of her customers looking at him.
“Somebody give me a piece of paper!” she exclaimed. “I’m having a prophecy.” Then, looking at Denzel, she told him, “You’re going to speak to millions of people. You’re going to do great things.”
At that time, Denzel was a student at New York’s Fordham University about to flunk. Today, he is one of the most successful film actors to come out of Hollywood and winning acting awards, including Oscars.
Denzel still has the paper the woman used to write down her prophecy. He still thinks of what she said.
“I’ve felt the hand of God in my life,” he told Dotson Rader, author of an article which appeared Parade. “And I think I do speak to millions of people. A part of me says, ‘Maybe, Denzel, you’re supposed to preach. Maybe you’re compromising.’
“Well, right now, since I’ve been given this ability to act, this must be what she was talking about. I’ve had an opportunity to play great men and, through their words, to preach. I take what talent I’ve been given seriously, and I want to use it for good.”
See what good words and notes can do? In her article, Jane Lindstrom also wrote of the story of a co-teacher, who prepared a variety of experiences for her pupils, hoping to share with them her love of the fields and woods, at a school outdoor center.
“But the week was a complete disaster. It rained four of the five days, and the children were rowdy and uncooperative,” Jane noted. So, when the children were packing and ready to return home, the young teacher was broken-hearted and crying. “I wasn’t sure before,” she told Jane, “but now I know. I can never work with children. I’m just not cut out for it.”
But Jane observed that she would make an outstanding teacher. But who would tell her? Just as they were about to leave the center, too, a little girl came up and told her: “I want to thank you for this week and for the things you taught us. You know, I never listened to the wind in the trees before. I will never forget it. Here’s a poem I wrote for you. I almost didn’t give it to you.”
Jane reported: “After reading the few penciled lines, the young teacher looked up with tears in her eyes, but now they were tears of happiness. I breathed a prayer of thanks to this one child who had made the right choice. I knew that because of her gesture countless children would enjoy the affection and guidance of a fine teacher.”
Maybe someone out there is just waiting for a note from you. Natalie Anderson once wrote to a friend: “Words fall short whenever I want to tell you how special you are to me, but all I can say is that my world is full of smiles whenever I think of you.”
Why don’t you tell someone now? Maybe this is the right moment to do so. As Michel Feyoh puts it: “There is nothing like being reminded that a person is constantly in your thoughts, with the reminder expressed in a most sincere, endearing way. It does not merely lift people’s moods; these words also bring out the best in them.” – ###
