LIFE’S LESSONS
By Henrylito D. Tacio
“My greatest life lesson has been that life can change in a second. This is why it’s important to always live your best possible life and to do what you can for others.” – Niki Taylor
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Our parents brought us into this world. They were there for us when we were growing up. But as years go by so fast, we learn what life is all about. Life is what we make it, and what others think of us. We don’t live for our own self alone but also for others whom we may meet along the way.
We learn about life by living, by the experiences we go through each day, and by what others have encountered.
Adlai Stevenson shares this concept: “What a man knows at 50 that he did not know at 20 is, for the most part, incommunicable.
The knowledge he has acquired with age is not the knowledge of formulas, or forms of words, but of people, places, actions— a knowledge gained not by words but by touch, sight, sound, victories, failures, sleeplessness, devotion, love—the human experiences and emotions of this earth and of oneself and other men; and perhaps, too, a little faith, a little reverence for things one cannot see.”
The self and others
More often than not, we neglect ourselves. We are busy comparing ourselves with others. We always think that others are much better than us. Just a while ago, I received this text from a friend: “There is always someone better than you, someone more attractive than you, someone a step ahead of you. But the one who is better than you may just be the loneliest person, the one who is more attractive than you may not be so attractive on the inside, and the person who is smarter than you may not have the love you receive from others. Love what you have and who you are.” Good advice, indeed!
When someone has committed a wrongdoing against us, our tendency is to fight back—to get even. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, you may say. But that should not be the case. The Lord’s Prayer said, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”
Lewis B. Smedes reminds: “Carrying a grudge is a loser’s game. It is the ultimate frustration because it leaves you with more pain than you had in the first place. Recall the pain of being wronged, the hurt of being stung, cheated, demeaned. Doesn’t the memory of it fuel the fire of fury again? Do you feel that hurt each time your memory lights on the people who did you wrong? Your own memory becomes a videotape within your soul that plays unending reruns of your old rendezvous with pain. Is this fair to yourself—this wretched justice of not forgiving?”
Forgive and forget is the only thing that can erase that pain inside you. “The only way to heal the pain that will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurt you,” advises Lewis B. Smedes. “Forgiving heals your memory as you change your memory’s vision. When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free—yourself.
A lesson in human solidarity
No man is an island, John Donne said. I was reminded of the story shared by Lane Kirkland, once upon a time the president of a labor organization. He was on a merchant ship bound for Honolulu from the Philippines when, three days out of port, they hit a typhoon. The ship was battered by heavy seas, and a dozen 50-gallon oil drums broke loose on deck. “One man was powerless against the drums rolling around the deck, but as a group we could protect each other while teams lassoed and secured the drums,” he recalled.
During World War II, Kirkland was a mate on watch in a convoy of 50 munitions ships. On the North Atlantic in wintertime in a full gale, he would stand watch on an open bridge. Ice formed on his face and clothes. But the experience taught him the things that are really important: “How you did your job and what kind of shipmate you were. Nothing else mattered. Lives depended on each member of the crew. It was a lesson in human solidarity, because if you didn’t stand by your shipmates and they went down, you would go down with them.”
We cannot escape our own times
Learn from the mistakes of others. In his book, Beware the Naked Man Who Offers You His Shirt, Harvey Mackay shared this anecdote: “A friend told me he once took a copy of a Leonardo da Vinci painting to a museum and showed it to the curator. The curator took one look and correctly told him not only when it was painted, but also the nationality of the copyist.”
“How did you know that?” Mackay’s friend inquired because he thought he had run across the world’s greatest parlor trick. But it turned out to be something more than that. “We’re all prisoners of our times,” the curator told him, “especially a copyist, whose powers of imagination are, by definition, limited. The choice of a subject to copy, the brush strokes and the emphasis all reflect the tastes and styles in vogue in the time and the place he made this copy. The clues track behind him like muddy boots; they shriek from this canvas. How could anyone expect he would be able to escape his own skin?”
Optimism reigns supreme
Yes, life has more to offer than we could ever imagine. I must confess that I have met some people who say, “Good Lord, it’s morning!” instead of, “Good morning, Lord!” Always look at the brighter side. Be optimistic rather than pessimistic. You are what you think. “I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection,” Hollywood actor Michael J. Fox remarked. “Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”
These ideas are not mine but from people who have shared their thoughts on life and living. Gerard Nierenberg said it when he pointed out, “If I give you my idea and you give me yours, then we each have two ideas, and together we have four.”
Whatever you do, think twice. Never do anything in haste or you will suffer the consequences if you make bad decisions in life. Jim Stovall, author of You Don’t Have to be Blind to See, writes: “I’ve seen people recover from physical abilities, yet never get over emotional traumas after a serious accident.”
Finally, here’s a timely thought from Roy T. Bennett, author of The Light in the Heart: “Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” – ###
