By Dang
I sit in my chair now, thinking about who I am today. I don’t know what to write, but one of my favorite personalities pushes me to write. He told me that I have potential in writing. Let’s see if I can spend more time here in my chair.
The sun is good today—not raining and not too hot. Maybe it’s one of the factors why my mind is wandering right now. I used to read books; I love books! I prefer to read than to write, but I will soon love writing. Will see!
An hour before I sat down, my friend chatted to me on Facebook, “How are you?” I replied, “I’m okay,” and then a tear dropped on my phone. Am I really okay? When was the last time I asked myself if I’m good? Do I enjoy my life today? Then I realized, I have a lot of pressures, challenges, and struggles which I’m facing right now. But I’m still grateful despite this nightmare, if I call it that way. I can still see, smell, touch, and feel everything God gave me. I am not invalidating my feelings right now; it’s normal to cry. But I’ll stand up again and fight for my battles. This is the generation whose mantra is: if you quit, you will lose.
Back when I was in college, I had a lot of friends and a strong support system. I thought I was strong enough to face the real world. That was then. Now, I’ve realized that I am entering a new phase of my life.
This is a new beginning. Starting from scratch, I have to learn new things and memories (hoping they will be more memorable than painful) will take place. I entered this real world without knowing what my role would be. I defined myself before as a strong independent woman, but now, I cry whenever I think I’m a failure. I wish I could turn back to the time when stress and pain were exceptions rather than rules. I wish I could slap them away from me right now.
But life is a constant struggle, indeed. My life right now is a kind of wrestling – fighting for life and a career. Whether I win or I will hurt. I always told myself to be patient; my time will come sooner than later, and everything will be alright.
I always put everything to God – asking His guidance and wisdom. These pains I am now experiencing will soon disappear and turn into fruits which I can harvest. All I have to do is work hard and be determined to live the best thing in my life.
To those who are reading this right now, I hope these words will enlighten you that you are not the only one who is suffering. Sometimes, you have to ask yourself if waiting is still worth it. Is it worth it to fight even though you know what is ahead of you? That’s faith – not knowing what is ahead but hoping everything will be alright.
Take a deep breath and self-realize what your life is like right now. Close your eyes and ask yourself if you’ve done enough to attain your vision. Maybe the answer that you are looking for comes from your own mind. All you have to do is pause and think deeply to realize everything. And when you have the courage, stand up and restart your new beginning.
After all, life is what we make it!
