By Henrylito D. Tacio
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer… I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.” — Frank Herbert in Dune
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Franklin D. Roosevelt, the 32nd president of the United States, once said: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” American poet, essayist and lecturer Ralph Waldo Emerson also said: “Fear defeats more people than any other thing in the world.”
Yann Martel, author of the award-winning Life of Pi, wrote: “I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease.
Martel further wrote: “It begins in your mind, always … so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.”
I was reminded of one scene of J.R.R. Tolkein’s The Return of the King. Aragorn asked Eowyn: “What do you fear, lady?” Her response: “A cage. To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”
Psychologists frequently categorize fear into four fundamental types that form the basis of most human anxieties:
Extinction – the apprehension of no longer existing, which includes death anxiety and existential worries.
Mutilation – the dread of physical harm or the loss of bodily integrity, covering fears related to injury, illness, or invasive circumstances.
Loss of Autonomy – the anxiety of being confined, controlled, or limited, which may present as claustrophobia or fear of commitment.
Separation – the fear of being abandoned, rejected, or losing social ties, often associated with feelings of loneliness or social anxiety.
Fears can be either innate or acquired. Innate fears are instinctual survival mechanisms, such as the fear of heights, darkness, or snakes, and do not necessitate prior experience.
On the other hand, learned fears arise from experiences or conditioning, such as the fear of public speaking or fear of failure, and can frequently be alleviated through exposure and therapeutic interventions.
Let’s take a closer look at some of these fears. One of the most common is the fear of losing someone you loved most. It is illustrated in Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare. Here’s one scene from the book:
Tessa craned her head back to look at Will. “You know that feeling,” she said, “when you are reading a book, and you know that it is going to be a tragedy; you can feel the cold and darkness coming, see the net drawing tight around the characters who live and breathe on the pages. But you are tied to the story as if being dragged behind a carriage and you cannot let go or turn the course aside.”
His blue eyes were dark with understanding — of course Will would understand — and she hurried on. “I feel now as if the same is happening, only not to characters on a page but to my own beloved friends and companions. I do not want to sit by while tragedy comes for us. I would turn it aside, only I struggle to discover how that might be done.”
“You fear for Jem,” Will said.
“Yes,” she said. “And I fear for you, too.”
“No,” Will said, hoarsely. “Don’t waste that on me, Tess.”
There is also that fear of the unknown. Greek philosopher Plato dismissed it this way: “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
Take the case of a large dragon which is paraded during the Chinese New Year celebration. Actually, dragons should not be afraid of. “To the Chinese, the dragon is Nature around us,” explained Carl Glick. “The rolling hills resemble his back. The waves of the ocean rush upon the shores like a hungry, devouring dragon. The rivers twist as he does. Even the earth roars when there’s an earthquake and volcanoes spit forth fire and smoke from their dragon nostrils.”
Glick said the dragon is man’s servant and not his master. “And if you treat him kindly, he will be your friend,” he pointed out. “So, the Chinese dance with the dragon, twist his tail in good-natured fun, and make him a playful, kindly beast.”
One Chinese sage shared this thought: “If the dragon is Nature in all her terror and majesty, let us not be afraid. Let us go out and meet that fear. It is only the unknown that frightens us. We are afraid of what lies beyond the hill. Once we go there and explore, our fear vanishes.”
Paulo Coelho, the author of The Alchemist, reminded: “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
The Holy Bible urged us to conquer fear. As Jesus came walking across the water, He told his disciples: “It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Over 300 times in the Bible we hear that message from God. “Fear not! For I am with you; don’t be afraid, it is the Lord.”
The angel Gabriel told Mary: “Fear not, Mary.” The angel said to Joseph, “Don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife…” The angels told the shepherds “Don’t be afraid.” On Resurrection Day, Jesus told His apostles and friends as He appeared, “Don’t be afraid.”
Overcoming fear requires reprogramming your brain’s response to threats through gradual exposure, anchoring yourself in the present moment, and questioning irrational beliefs. Avoidance merely reinforces fear; therefore, it is essential to deconstruct frightening scenarios into smaller, more manageable tasks and address them sequentially to enhance your confidence.
Psychologists and medical professionals offer the following strategies for overcoming fear:
1. Comprehend whatever fears you have
The initial step is to pinpoint and comprehend the source of your fear. Identify the particular situations, objects, or thoughts that elicit fear and contemplate why they impact you. Gaining insight into the roots of your fear – whether stemming from past trauma, learned behaviors, or genetic factors – fosters self-awareness and equips you to confront it effectively.
2. Confront your fears gradually
Gradually confronting your fears is among the most effective strategies. Begin with smaller, manageable challenges and progressively engage with more daunting situations. This method, frequently employed in exposure therapy, enables you to cultivate confidence and diminish anxiety over time. Evading fear only fortifies it; thus, consistent and controlled exposure is crucial.
3. Engage in mindfulness and relaxation practices
Engaging in mindfulness, meditation, or mindful walking can assist you in remaining present and alleviating the severity of fearful thoughts. Concentrate on your breathing, bodily sensations, and environment to avert your mind from descending into panic. These methods enable you to respond with calmness rather than react impulsively to fear.
4. Commit yourself and act with intention
Conquering fear necessitates dedication and intentional action. Establish clear objectives to confront your fears, even if it involves taking a minor step forward. Approach it as a personal endeavor or goal and uphold consistency. The process of progressing, regardless of how insignificant, gradually dismantles the “barriers” that fear constructs around you.
5. Reframe your perspective
Question irrational thoughts and alter your viewpoint. Understand that fear is a natural, adaptive reaction, yet it does not always signify actual danger. By recognizing fear without allowing it to dominate you, you can make logical choices and alleviate anxiety.
6. Seek support
Professional assistance, including therapy or counseling, can offer organized guidance. Therapists may employ cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or various other methods to help you address fears in a safe and effective manner. Support from friends or support groups can further enhance your progress.
According to the Mayo Clinic, CBT is a structured, goal-focused form of talk therapy. It is based on the premise that your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are closely linked. By recognizing and challenging negative or unproductive thought patterns, you can alter your feelings and responses to challenging situations.
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