By Henrylito D. Tacio
“Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” — Erma Bombeck
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Once, a reporter inquired of a seventy-five-year-old man about what had deprived him of joy throughout his life. Without much hesitation, he answered, “Things that never happened.”
This leads us to the subject of worry. The term “worry” is derived from the Greek word merimnao, which is a fusion of two words: merizo, meaning “to divide,” and nous, which refers to the mind (encompassing the abilities to perceive, understand, feel, judge, and determine). In more straightforward terms, worry signifies “to divide the mind.”
Worry splits the mind between valuable interests and harmful thoughts. As Arthur S. Roche puts it, “Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”
John Edmund Haggai, author of How to Win Over Worry, wrote: “Worry divides the feelings; therefore, the emotions lack stability. Worry divides the understanding therefore convictions are shallow and changeable. Worry divides the faculty of perception therefore observations are faulty and even false. Worry divides the faculty of judging; therefore, attitudes and decisions are often unjust. These decisions lead to damage and grief.”
There are so many things that worry us. We often find ourselves anxious about what the future may bring for each individual. Some individuals are preoccupied with the fear of failing to meet the expectations set by others. A few are anxious about their punctuality in various aspects of life.
Common worries among people encompass health, business, children, clothing, taxes, debts, food, travel, loans, and mortgages. Grenville Kleiser articulated a brief yet profound quote: “They worried, still they worried; they worried, but alas! They worried about a lot of things that did not come to pass.”
During my high school years, I was anxious about my ability to pay tuition fees, fearing that failure to do so would prevent me from taking my examinations. I also stressed over not completing my assignments and writing my home reading reports, among other responsibilities.
Some worries stem from past or present actions. A corrupt politician fears that his constituents may discover his dishonesty during the previous election. A cheating husband is anxious about being discovered by his wife. A man with multiple girlfriends struggles to sleep, knowing that his partners might realize they are all involved with the same person.
Yesterday, I received a text from a friend that stated: “Worry destroys our thinking, disrupts our work, destroys our poise, and disfigures our face. So, get rid of worry.” This statement resonates with me profoundly!
I have a brother who is reluctant to fly. Even though he has been reassured that air travel is the safest mode of transportation, he remains concerned that the plane may not reach its intended destination. However, he does not share the same fear when it comes to traveling by bus or ship.
Unknowingly, worrying too much may lead a person to death. Dr. Charles Mayo stated, “I’ve never known a man who died of hard work, but many who die of worry.” If only doctors could write: “Died of worry.”
Once, a pilgrim encountered the Plague on its way to Baghdad. “What is your purpose there?” inquired the pilgrim. “I intend to take the lives of 5,000 people,” the Plague boasted, grinning maliciously.
The pilgrim recoiled in horror and altered his course. However, sometime later, he came across a refugee from the afflicted city who revealed that not 5,000, but 50,000 individuals had perished. Shortly thereafter, he met the Plague again, journeying to another city. “You deceived me,” the pilgrim charged. “You claimed you would only kill 5,000 people.”
“My dear friend,” the Plague replied as amiable as possible. “I did indeed take 5,000 lives, and the remaining 50,000 succumbed to fear.”
How accurate were the words of John Lancaster Spalding, “We are more troubled by a disaster that threatens us than by one that has already occurred.”
Allow events to unfold without fretting over possibilities that may never materialize. It is wise to be prepared at all times but ensure that you maintain control.
Do not permit anxiety to dominate your life. “If you approach every situation as if it were a matter of life and death,” Dean Smith remarked, “you will experience many deaths.”
So, what should we do with the multitude of worries we carry in life? Discard them!
An ancient tale recounts an angel who encountered a man burdened with a heavy sack on his back and inquired about its contents. “My worries,” the man answered.
“Allow me to see them,” the angel requested. When the sack was opened, it revealed nothing inside. The angel was puzzled and asked, “What is it that troubles you?”
The man replied, “Only two matters: yesterday and tomorrow.”
Upon hearing this, the angel questioned, “Why concern yourself with them? Yesterday has passed and is no longer a source of worry. Tomorrow has yet to arrive. Therefore, how can you be anxious about it?”
Consequently, the angel informed the man that he no longer needed to bear the sack. Thus, the man discarded the sack.
John Newton was right when he said, “We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden assigned to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today and then add the burden of tomorrow before we are required to bear it.”
But I also like the suggestion of Edith Armstrong. “I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance,” she said. “Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear tries to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they’ll forget my number.”
The Bible tells us to refrain from worry, as God is attentive to our needs and offers tranquility during times of distress. Philippians 4:6-7 conveys: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
The above verses highlight the significance of prayer and the assurance of God’s peace in response to our concerns.
1 Peter 5:6-7 also urges us to relinquish our worries to God: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
There are several ways of skinning a cat, so goes the saying. Well, psychiatrists, psychologists and doctors provide these highly effective, research-supported strategies to manage and alleviate chronic worry:
1. Delay your worries. Rather than dwelling on them throughout the day, allocate 15 to 20 minutes daily (for instance, at 5:00 PM) specifically for worrying. During this time, write all your concerns. If a worry arises before this designated time, remind yourself, “I will address this at 5:00 PM,” and bring your attention back to the present.
2. Differentiate between productive and unproductive worries. Consider whether the worry is solvable. For example, if you are anxious about whether you have a health problem, you can take action by seeing a doctor. Conversely, if it is an unproductive or uncontrollable worry (such as, “What if something terrible occurs in the future?”), recognize the thought, allow it to pass, and shift your focus elsewhere.
3. Question your anxious thoughts. Our minds frequently leap to worst-case scenarios, which experts call as “catastrophizing.” Counter these thoughts by seeking evidence. Ask yourself: What is the actual probability of this occurring? What is the worst possible outcome, and how would I realistically cope with it? Am I presuming I can foresee the future?
4. Engage in grounding and breathing exercises. When feelings of panic or anxiety arise, your body’s “fight or flight” mechanism is triggered, which hampers your capacity for logical thinking. Utilize deep breathing techniques to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system. Inhale deeply through your nose for a duration of 5 seconds, then exhale gradually for 10 seconds. Continue this practice for 1 to 2 minutes.
5. Prioritize your physical health. Lifestyle choices significantly influence your mental well-being. Reduce caffeine and alcohol intake; both substances can provoke and exacerbate feelings of anxiety. Incorporate physical activity; engaging in a daily walk or exercise routine aids in alleviating stress hormones. Minimize news and screen exposure; continuous engagement with stress-inducing media contributes to persistent worry.
6. Seek professional guidance. If your anxiety and worries are persistent, intense, or adversely affecting your daily life, consulting with a licensed therapist or healthcare provider can offer you tailored strategies and support.
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