Undas is a natural time to talk about planning for the future — before a crisis forces it
By the H&L Editorial Team
There is a reason so many family quarrels begin after a funeral. Grief is hard enough. Add an unsettled estate, missing documents, unpaid hospital bills and no clear wishes, and even close siblings can end up not speaking to each other for years.
Filipinos are often reluctant to talk about death and money. Some feel it is bad luck. Others think it’s disrespectful. But as Undas reminds us every year, these conversations are not about dying. They are about caring for the people we leave behind.
Here are the topics worth raising this season, gently and with love.
1. Where are the important documents?
Land titles, deeds, bank and investment records, insurance policies, pre-need plans, SSS, GSIS and Pag-IBIG records, PhilHealth details, marriage and birth certificates. Families waste months — and money — searching for papers after a death. Make a simple list of what exists and where it is kept, and tell at least one trusted family member.
2. Is there a will?
Many Filipinos die without a will, which can lead to lengthy, expensive and divisive estate settlement. A will does not have to be complicated, but under Philippine law it must meet specific requirements to be valid. Consult a lawyer to make sure it is properly done.
3. Are there insurance and pre-need plans — and do the beneficiaries know?
A life insurance policy or memorial plan is only helpful if the family knows it exists and how to claim it. Check that beneficiaries are updated, especially after marriages, births or deaths in the family.
4. What about medical wishes?
What kind of care would your parent want if they became seriously ill and could not speak for themselves? Would they want to be resuscitated? Who should make decisions for them? Talking about this ahead of time spares families agonizing choices in the ICU, and spares siblings from blaming each other later.
5. How will healthcare costs be handled?
A serious illness can drain family savings fast. Check that PhilHealth memberships are active and up to date. Consider whether additional health insurance or an HMO makes sense. Build an emergency fund specifically for health expenses.
6. Are there debts the family should know about?
Loans, credit cards, informal borrowing from relatives — these can surprise families after a death. It’s better to know now.
7. Are the family’s wishes for the house clear?
The family home is often the most emotional — and most contested — asset. If parents have wishes about who will live in it or how it will be shared, writing them down and discussing them openly can prevent years of conflict.
How to start the conversation: Use the season as an opening. “Ma, while we’re here at Lolo’s grave, can I ask — did he leave things in order for Lola? Have you thought about what you’d want?” Keep it gentle. It doesn’t have to be settled in one day.
This article is for general information only and is not legal or financial advice. Consult a lawyer, financial planner or accountant for advice specific to your situation.
“These conversations are not about dying. They are about loving the people we leave behind enough to spare them confusion, conflict and debt.”
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